My Immortal

i was alone last night, just watching tv and drinking 2 bottles of redhorse...im not a frequent drinker i just got that beer from my cousins outside having there wondrous dringking session again...

i couldnt find a better channel to watch and so i decided to watch a concert of evanescence on tv...and then the music went on, still staring at the tv when they sang their "my immortal"

song ....geee., i felt like there's an electricity passing from my toe till the last strand of my hair..i never heard a song as true as my immortal.

i was stucked on the tv...my eyes were looking to the concert but my mind was overflowing of emotions...guilt foolishness unsatisfied immaturity and envy that was the first time, a song seems to be burned by fire of those emotions...

i feel depressed all of a sudden ...thinking i'm being bad,dishonest and careless thinking some instances of my life that someone(most) treated me as precious as what i treated the one whose holding my heart...i knew to myself i'm being ignorant...

then the song came to an end...i stand, opened my cabinet and look for my wallet...the wallet that shows the only hope of my existence as of now..why i wanted to live...why i wanted to graduate...why i wanted to fulfill what i want in life...why i cant even stare to the person which gave her to me...why i cant do it? why i cant?..

i saw the picture...and kissed it...i guess that's part of a plan by someone above giving an Angel to continue my journey...